New Dawn

My first official attempt at poetry :

" Ring out the old,ring out the old,
Keep all your troubles on a hold.
Remember that it is a new Dawn,
which ought not begin with a mere yawn.
There is a road which we need to travel,
it might not always be the one laid in gravel.
Hence buckle up and cheer up with a smile,
it ought to carry you much more than a mile."

Have always been lenient towards the non rhythmic version of literature, hopefully this is just a beginning :-)

Love You

I feel bad,,,, i feel hurt...how much i try to forget,the thoughts come back,making me vulnerable.They make me go to the verge of breaking down but somehow sanity prevails.But it is hurting me real bad.Every time i try to forget you something or the other reminds me of you.I do not understand what is it about you that i really cannot forget you.My pillow becomes wet thinking of you but cannot still make out why all the things transpired that made us so apart.I know i was foolish and was haste with quite a many things but everything was out the love for you.I many a times took it to a level irreconcilable but nearly every time we reconciled.But those last incidents do not know why you never gave a chance.Might be the pain inflicted all through had its final telling. Now our paths are different and might never meet but all those thoughts still linger making me ever restless. Never knew why the love and respect turned to state of despise.Nor would i ever get another chance to pour my heart out.I know now you are happy and eager to walk into the new life and it would not be right for me to try and relive those moments. might be i was never the right one for you. I never know if i would be able to ever forget you and move on nor do i know if this would be lost in the obscurity of time.But this feeling of unfullfillment would surely haunt me.A second thought would have made our association much happier than the suffering we felt together.Nevertheless dear i believe at some point you realise i was not as foolish or bad as it turned out to be.

Love you for all those moments you gave me and for the second wind your companionship has brought to this wretched soul. Love you :-)

Every Bud has to blossom.....

I see him nearly every day, at the tea stall collecting and cleaning all the used tea glasses, giggling with his acquaintances or going about calmly and seriously with his work. Appears to be all of 10 or 12 years , lean frame, not so maintained face and lost eyes. A sense of helpless feeling grips me whenever i see that kid. So does it happen whenever i see a child working, for i always believed it is not the right age for them to work irrespective of what the situation is,depriving them of basic education is something i always helplessly despised.

But the other day something else pricked me . As usual i was relaxing and having my tea and there were a couple of kids playing with a cricket ball. This Kid was going about his usual chores and suddenly signalled to the two kids to throw him the ball waited for a fraction of a second and then went back to his daily chores. The enthusiasm on his face when he asked for the ball and that expressionless face after a few moments pricked me deep. I was looking at this kid and do not exactly know if those two kids denied or ignored his request or that he himself remembered his work and suppressed his little urge to catch the ball, but that moment etched in my memory and really makes me restless.

What really hurt me was that apart from the fact that this kid is already deprived of Eduction, he is being deprived of something more basic and more important, His Childhood. It is really not the age that you suppress your urge to play since you have the work on hand. I do not know whom to blame, the Teastall owner, his parents, my helpless ness or the system as a whole. But what i do know is it is not right. The fact that this kid is just a specimen represenation of a much larger popultion makes me restless. My Dad always repeated to me " Today's Children are Tomorrow's Citizens" and if this is the case the future looks bleak.

Unfortunately i really am unable to do anything expect to vent my frustration so do i believe are many others who are moved by this but are caught in their own vicious Life cycle. I really cant say what is the solution but i really want to find one. Cannot write anything further as my heart is too heavy ........

What is the fuss about ??

Well, the buzz seems to have settled in regard to the autocracies involving the Commonwealth Games, the Opening ceremony and the ensuing four days have ensured a brighter picture of India hosting the games. This gives me some solace being an Indian.

I sit back and retrospect all the fuzz created in regard to the corruption, the mis management and the poor state of facilities. But in spite of a surprise and an item worth discussing it did not appear to me as such. The first thing what came to my mind is what's new ? the pictures being continuously shown on TV aren't much different from the scenes i see day in and day out while i commute around the city. I in fact go through the tougher ordeal of travelling on worse roads which nearly gives me a back ache after i complete my journey. The water gets logged on the roads making only half of the road being suitable for travel and no need to elaborate about the innumerable bumps which i encounter, and of course those trademark Pan stains on the walls across the footbridges and flyovers. So for a guy who goes through these day in and day out it isn't a surprising news when i sit back in the evening and watch the TV, as I already have a first hand experience of the same.

But what surprises me though is the media reaction to it and the reaction of the general public to all these. I agree that their is a fault at the administrative end in organising the games and appreciate the media role as well as the public interest and their claim of nation pride, i somewhere feel the need of the hour being something else. Is not it that apart from pointing out at some one about something being not organised properly, our responsibility also lies in having a reality check and see ow ell we mange ourselves in our daily lives. We go around littering the roads and public places and do not feel a iota of pinch for what we do. We travel day in and day out on those bumpy roads but never care to discuss or complain except cursing the authorities for the poor roads.

i would love the media to expose the bad state of infrastructure used by the Common public on a larger scale than what it does now. Debates on more meaning full issues directly impacting the lives of people and more special reports on the necessities of the people at large.

Wonder any body is hearing?? or as it many a times happens unless here is sensation involved media doesn't interest itself, and what sensation do you expect from the lives of a common man ??

Free Will

"Free Will", this Caught my imagination when i was watching the Movie "Bruce Almighty" recently,,, have watched the movie many a times earlier,,,but somewhere did not think much on that. This led me to think,,,does this have any relevance to my life, or rather to human life,, does Free Will exist in the world we live in,,,hmm Something to really ponder about....

When was the last time,, i made a Decision,,,or acted,,just basing on Free Will,,,without being influenced by the external Factors and worrying about the consequences,,,well i came close to a few,,,,but actually did not implement them. When i wonder , "why did not I ? " the answer seemed to be "because that would have been Foolish, devastating,,wrong" etc etc etc,,,,

This brings me to think,, is acting upon Freewill,, synonymous of being foolish and irresponsible,,,is Freewill the Synonym of being immaturely careless,,,this thought does not suit with me well,,, and i still ponder over this,,,something else prompts me, Free Will to be a higher state of thought, where in you have crossed the boundaries of the mortal world,,and are in a state to think beyond this,,,,Well Not sure, which of these two thoughts is an actual reflection of Free will

But something i was able to make out,, , is that it is not about just making a Decision, it is about making a decision such that you would not regret it,, well i still have conflicting thought even for this,, i better stop this,,, it leaves me a bit restless,, but the thoughts seems to be just coming,,,,

False Hope

"False Hope", heard it not once but twice from my good Friend regarding a context,,,but somehow this did not sound correct or rather apt. I always believed myself to be an eternal dealer in Hope,,donot exactly remember from where i actually picked up that phrase, but one thing which made me survive all these years, and in fact this world to move ahead is "Hope".

So when is it that this Hope becomes a False Hope,,,Can any one guess in the pretext itself ? if the Hope would never be full filled and hence would be a False Hope,, or is it that after moving ahead with that hope, that we face the difficulty and conclude that it is a False Hope ?

If it is the Former one,, then the whole concept of Hope doe snot rise, it would just be an un attempted Idea which was never given a chance to be tried, and therefore is not Hope in the first place itself, , on the contrary what if someone moves ahead with that Hope ? when does that Hope actually becomes a false Hope ? Does withdrawing in between reflect a defeat or does it reflect the smartness to leave and move ahead in life ???

These are the questions which confront me and so does with many people around ? and need to say, i did not actually think i would end this topic with these questions, still lingering in my mind.

The one who said that and the context told, is of prime importance to me and now i really wonder what is the way ahead for me. I have always been a trier and i believe i never lost hope in what i wanted. There was never the concept of "False Hope", there was either Hope or a No Hope. But something i felt i wanted, i pursued and achieved. It was always a belief that if one has an Hope and keeps his effort to the right effect, there could never be a NO hope or a False Hope. and I prefer believing that.

Everything is possible for the one who believes, and hence i believe there would never be a "False Hope " in my life. If ever thee is something i Hoped for and could not achieve i better term it as a Tried and Failed attempt, rather than not attempt in the assumption of it being a False Hope.

My resolve and the Third Dimension

Have Never been a guy who believed in having a resolution at the start of the year, but yes i did many a time postpone few things, to start of from the new year, more for the sake of Convenience, and to give leeway to my laziness. As always, i did not freeze upon having a resolution even for this year. There are a few things, which i plan to set straight this year, but lets not call them resolutions, as i believe that to be much above , what people causally make of.

But yeah, something occured to me on the Eve of New year i.e the last day of the Previous year. All through my life, there were few certain ways i approach a thing, as every have their own. Something like, if i do not like a thing, i either would Confront it, or move a way from it,,, but have observed that it actually leaves a sort of restlessness, which i wanted to escape, in the first place. This has been causing me a bit of trouble with few things at the workplace, as i could observe simply avoiding them, have not brought any good to me, in fact much more restlessness,,,So somewhere i flt,, why to avoid them,, or rather why to confront them,,,, why not i be there and make my presence felt,,,,this third angle sort of relieved me,,,,and gave a scope to try something new,,try to be a different me,

Well, not sure, how this new thing would work in my life,, all through i have been narrow enough to just give way for either Right or wrong ( as per my prejudice),, but solemn did i ever thought in a different way,, so with this new Resolve ( ummh not a resolution yet), i move ahead with my life in this year,,, to see, if this would add on that remaining bit i was awaiting to fullfill much of what i want to achieve...