Love You

I feel bad,,,, i feel hurt...how much i try to forget,the thoughts come back,making me vulnerable.They make me go to the verge of breaking down but somehow sanity prevails.But it is hurting me real bad.Every time i try to forget you something or the other reminds me of you.I do not understand what is it about you that i really cannot forget you.My pillow becomes wet thinking of you but cannot still make out why all the things transpired that made us so apart.I know i was foolish and was haste with quite a many things but everything was out the love for you.I many a times took it to a level irreconcilable but nearly every time we reconciled.But those last incidents do not know why you never gave a chance.Might be the pain inflicted all through had its final telling. Now our paths are different and might never meet but all those thoughts still linger making me ever restless. Never knew why the love and respect turned to state of despise.Nor would i ever get another chance to pour my heart out.I know now you are happy and eager to walk into the new life and it would not be right for me to try and relive those moments. might be i was never the right one for you. I never know if i would be able to ever forget you and move on nor do i know if this would be lost in the obscurity of time.But this feeling of unfullfillment would surely haunt me.A second thought would have made our association much happier than the suffering we felt together.Nevertheless dear i believe at some point you realise i was not as foolish or bad as it turned out to be.

Love you for all those moments you gave me and for the second wind your companionship has brought to this wretched soul. Love you :-)

Every Bud has to blossom.....

I see him nearly every day, at the tea stall collecting and cleaning all the used tea glasses, giggling with his acquaintances or going about calmly and seriously with his work. Appears to be all of 10 or 12 years , lean frame, not so maintained face and lost eyes. A sense of helpless feeling grips me whenever i see that kid. So does it happen whenever i see a child working, for i always believed it is not the right age for them to work irrespective of what the situation is,depriving them of basic education is something i always helplessly despised.

But the other day something else pricked me . As usual i was relaxing and having my tea and there were a couple of kids playing with a cricket ball. This Kid was going about his usual chores and suddenly signalled to the two kids to throw him the ball waited for a fraction of a second and then went back to his daily chores. The enthusiasm on his face when he asked for the ball and that expressionless face after a few moments pricked me deep. I was looking at this kid and do not exactly know if those two kids denied or ignored his request or that he himself remembered his work and suppressed his little urge to catch the ball, but that moment etched in my memory and really makes me restless.

What really hurt me was that apart from the fact that this kid is already deprived of Eduction, he is being deprived of something more basic and more important, His Childhood. It is really not the age that you suppress your urge to play since you have the work on hand. I do not know whom to blame, the Teastall owner, his parents, my helpless ness or the system as a whole. But what i do know is it is not right. The fact that this kid is just a specimen represenation of a much larger popultion makes me restless. My Dad always repeated to me " Today's Children are Tomorrow's Citizens" and if this is the case the future looks bleak.

Unfortunately i really am unable to do anything expect to vent my frustration so do i believe are many others who are moved by this but are caught in their own vicious Life cycle. I really cant say what is the solution but i really want to find one. Cannot write anything further as my heart is too heavy ........