Retrospection

It may sound a general expression, but the truth is I am surprised that we have reached the end of year,,Not long ago was i Wondering that this year has been a Slow one,, actually i am always amazed with the duality of our mind,,,

As the year comes to an end , i sit down, trying to reflect the year, that was,,, of course i have been doing the same since many years, but there seems to be some urge from within to actually retrospect the year that was.So here I am Pondering over how the year was,,,,,

Umh,,as i think, it seems to be another year of never dying Hope, and the after effect of the past,,,it did not seem much different,,as always i was hanging on the fact something would turn out good,,as i have been since the last few years, a few things which I thought would be settled of this year, still tempt me with that final string to be completed. And that pretty much summed up the Frustrations i had this year. Arguably this was the year, where in I was frustrated the most, whether it was the sign of the good things to happen, or a fatigue being reflected,,that time only should tell.

It marked a new dawn in my life,,,To live without some one, who was always with me,,,or i fear, is it Dawn yet ? or is it Silent Dark night,, that still haunts me,,, Well if this was the Night,, i Have hope for a Dawn,,, but on contrary if it is a new Dawn, well I am up to some serious things ahead,,,

The beauty of this whole year, in spite of of all the things, i learnt ,or rather forced, to take decisions on my own,some General, some personal, and need to agree, i Made some aw full mistakes, or is it really so,, is there a silver lining in it, as always been,, again that the time which would tell,,

Nevertheless, Life has to move on, and here i am, at the threshold of a new year,, although i have never been a guy, believing in the New year stuff, except for the need to remember the year for putting down a date, and my ever increasing New Dairies, which like many things in my life,, i never happen to write down regularly,,

But i cannot take this year, as it was, need some concrete planning to do, i know it is not my forte, but yes life teaches you many things, and with the fact that I no more have that person, whom i always relied on, and the truth, that I never lived up to the Grace GOD bestowed upon this prodigal kid,, time for some serious Soul searching.

Or , is it that, i would again pull a trick of at the last moment, as i always did,,and be the Ultimate winner, when it was all said and done,,, ummh, well these thoughts keep flowing,, and so does the pain and hope they bring along,,, But finally as i always believed, I never chose my destiny,, but the Destiny chose me,,