Guilt

I never meant to hurt you,

Nor was i aware of it,

Your smile always concealed your pain,

I was a fool not to realise your emotional drain,

It makes me feel pathetic thinking of it,

That I stooped down so low

I was always assured by your eternal glean,

but it never struck me that i was not so clean,

Forgive me dear for what I did,

I should not have made your experience so torrid,

Would have set myself straight,

had I picked up on your trait,

I was blinded by something else,

It might be the magnanimity of being with you,

that out of world feel I always had with you around,

made me to loose my basic sense,

spoiling our companionship's essence,

But i would not give any excuse,

all i call for is a truce,

I am down with a real sense of guilt,

bottom down to the hilt,

Forgive me dear for what all I did,

For all the times I backslid,

I realise thinking of me makes you disgust,

what do i do to bring back the trust ?

I am on my knees, seeking forgiveness,

For every passing moment is making me feel restless,

It is only you that can pull me out of this misery,

and give me a chance to show my chivalry,

Your beaming countenance makes me survive,

allowing me to live and thrive,

Would do anything to bring back that lost cheer,

which is always an ever lasting souvenir,

One chance is all I want,

do consider this with your ever forgiving heart.

I hope to bring back those days,

enriched with trust and happy lit rays.

The Reply

What  do you wait for ? what do you anticipate ?
Oh Heart ! what is it that you yearn for ?
Every passing moment makes you so restless !
Making the situation all the more hopeless,
Is all this anticipation just for a reply ?
but it isn’t just “Just” but much more than that,
It is a confirmation that the dear one is safe
an assurance that the  other one cares,
a continuance for further conversation,
a promise of companionship when you need one,
Alas ! all these feelings are futile,
unless the the dear ones considers them worthwhile
What do I do now ?
Do I continue in pain for the reply,i
or ignore everything and be in my own self ?
but withdrawing to self also seem to cause pain,

for i fail to find a place in self without her !

The Paradox of waiting

Why is Life such a Paradox ?

Many a times forces me to do something Unorthodox,
I am really in a tight fix,
But unable to pull out any thing from my bag of tricks,
Sometimes the road ahead seems to be a freeway,

But always keep wondering is it the right way ?

At the end of tunnel i see some light,
I reach it and realise it is not actually bright,
There is someone who is so dear,
I did say that I do love her,
alas, there is someone who she seems to prefer,
I decide to wait and see what life has to offer,
I do not know if she would ever be mine,
Surely this feeling does not put me on cloud nine,
But I always been an Eternal dealer in hope,
Always looking out and see what could be in my scope,
Although the wait sometimes is so frustrating,
there seems to be something in it that I am loving,
But these small moments are not something I would settle for,
For what i Dream is something lovelier than what is now on offer,
I dream , I hope and I believe while i lie here in Wait,
for I know she would walk into my life with a beautiful gait.
                                                                                                     

Waiting for you !

Oh dear , where are you ?
I really do not have any clue,
It was only yesterday that we spoke,
Not catching up with you today is making me broke, 
Every passing second makes me anxious,
My heart is becoming so restless,
I try to diverge and concentrate on my work,
but your thoughts are making me go berserk,
I repeatedly look at the chat and the Face book,
For any update from you that I can have a look,
I spend some time reviewing your page,
How many times I did it I cannot gauge,
how much I hope the picture on it turns into reality,
and you are there in front of me in actuality,
I know it is not practically possible,
But a message pop is something plausible,
I wait here in anticipation,
somebody please give me a suggestion,
I want to reach out to her,
but how do i do ? i cannot concur.
Something like a Bluetooth is what my heart prefers,
Transmitting the feelings from mine to hers.


                                                                                         - Eternal Enigma