The Outsider_an unknown identity

Having no identity of his own, nor interested to have one,he strutted along in this mystic world. Those identities looked so narrow, sounded so funny to have one. The order of the society did not make much logic. Like a mirror does he reflect the people around him, like water does he assimilate into any thing that he is mixed up with.People loved him, admired him, treated him to be one of them.So did he reciprocate the love and the admiration. It did not matter who the other person was, for he himself did not consider to be any different. 

He was told of the differences in the world. The various class and creed that the society is made. Was many a time warned by his so called kin to be careful. But his vision of humanity was different. For him all were humans, being part of a larger good. The acceptance he got made him believe in the humanity, so did he threw a wry smile at his kin , who said he would always be linked to this identity. He was no less than any one he met, one of the finest that you would get. There was no aspect of him which would show any sign of being any lower, as the society would dictate. But all through this, he still remained an enigma. Behind all the smiles and affection showered, the questions did linger in the minds of the people, as to what was his identity. 

Life does have stranger ways.

The order, proves to be too strong for any individual to defy. The thoughts do remain glorious, but the practicality of it ? the world does not appreciate it. In spite of his disdain for any identity, he is still categorized as one. Not based on his virtue, not on his deeds, purely basing on his birth. People still admire and love him, but not as one of their own . He never understood this paradox. 

He draws a similarity from the nature,The crow never seems to appreciate the cuckoo for its virtue, for it is not its breed. The worse part, he was never the replaced egg, or does the world treat him to be one. Pondering on this paradox of the strange world, and not ready to live with the identity the world has bestowed, there seems to be one identity he would have to take and the one he seems to always be considered,,,,,The Outsider.

Wounded hope

Its been nearly half year, and how quickly the time does past. That fateful evening still remains to be a night mare. Etched in my memory like a wound which ought never heals. That sense of helplessness still grips me. Only thing I do not cry as much as I did earlier. It is not because I overcame the grief nor that I forgot it, purely because I no more have the strength to cry. I really cannot reconcile with self. All the conscious attempts that I made to overcome this have turned futile. I want to come out of this, I want to move on, or in reality DO I, really want to. The thought suddenly comes, irrespective of what I am doing, or where I am, rendering me helpless and making me to silently mourn. There have been heartbreaks earlier, but none which has been sustained for so long. I repent for every moment that I made you feel bad. It was that sense of confidence that I have you for life, made me a bit foolish in the way I did treat you. I just hope if only I did not waste those moments. I do eagerly waited for so long, just to meet you and see you for those couple of hours. Surely they were the happiest moments. I ever had. I am waiting dear, for past many months for you to just respond. I go about with an anticipation that might be I would see you. I know it is my stupidity to hope. I never really understood what transpired. Things happened so quickly that I still do not get a sense of reality. I do not want answers as to what has happened; I just want to see you, once. Time does not always heal. 

Own Destiny_does it exist ?

How can someone create their own destiny?


When the present is influenced by past which he wasn’t responsible for,

When an action by someone still has a profound reaction on the present,

When every step taken in the present is dictated by a step of the past,

Can someone be oblivious of all things around and achieve what one wants to?

Why does one have to strive and bear the result of someone else action,

Why our destinies are for ever tied to someone else?

Can someone survive without these bonds?

Is it GOD willed or man made?

How much can I determine my future the way I want?

If I am asking these questions, should I even think that fulfillment of my dream would instigate the same questions in someone else?

Greatest Indian after Gandhi !! my take on the top 50 nominations !!

When I saw the initial Advts of " The Greatest Indian after Mahatma " on the TV, was quite excited. The first aspect which impressed me was excluding Mahatma from the competition and claiming him to be the greatest Indian, well who else could it be . I waited quite eagerly to have a look at the 50 Great Indian nominations. When finally the list was out, there were few obvious greats who I expected them to be. And surprised that quite a many I anticipated did not.
The initial reaction I had after reviewing the list was "these people managed to have a representation from all fields ". I expected the nominations to be skewed towards politicians , entrepreneurs and social leaders but seems to have a good number from sports , arts etc. Well that isn't much of a concern except that i expected the nominatiions to be more closer to the real picture rather than mere representation.
I am bewildered with a few exclusions, some one like P.V Narsimha Rao, I expected him to be part of the the list. If there is one person who has influenced India in the last two decades it has to be him.
APJ Abdul Kalam is categorised under political leaders which does not make much sense to me. Might be i could give him credit for an administrator and scientist but not as a political leader. If exclusion of P.V Narsimha rao was due to the controversies during his reign, why was Lal Bahadur Shastri excluded ? a man of integrity , and the one who gave and lived the slogan " Ja Jawan , Jai Kisan ". Sam Manekshaw finds a place , but is not the victory over Pakistan majorly due to the astute leadership of Indira Gandhi ? With the Bofors scam not proved yet, I believe Rajiv Gandhi ought have been a great option than many of the ones nominated. A man of great vision and undoubtedly the one who sowed the seeds of the current IT boom in India. I do not know how many would agree with me but I would say Dr.Manmohan Singh should have found a place ahead of many , simply for the profound impact his economic polices have had on us. If only it was not for the arm twisting coalition politics he would have been on much higher ground, the nuclear deal is one such example.
Do not want to sound regionalistic but I do see the typical north domination on the south. If it is not for the mass appeal and the universal recognition of Rajani Kanth he might not have found a place. The greatest actor India has ever produced ought be Kamal Hasssan , it surprises me that due care was taken to have representation from all fields, and Kamal is excluded from the Arts category.
Satyajit ray is unparalleled and hence we find him in the list, but apart from him no other technician seems to have made the cut. Quite a many south film greats do not find a place, might be the over reaching connect of Hindi Cinema, but it does not make them any less Indian being part of regional cinema.
The one category that i am most happy with is "Entrepreneurs & Idea Leaders ", no complains on the ones included but might be a couple more could have been added.
If Milkha Singh, why not P.T.Usha ? why are not any of the great spin quartet or for that matter any of Indian Spinner included where in they were the key for majority if not all of Indian victories. Do not want to comment upon inclusion of Kanshi ram because not to flirt with controversy, but if Kanshiram is why not Anna Durai ? Does impact north means impacting India ?
I know 50 nominations cannot include every one and there ought be a few omissions which might not have made the cut, but its the inclusion of the few at the cost of exclusing few others who deserves for the sake of mere representation and perspective bias that does not sit with me well.

Anyways lets wait and see who gets shortlisted to the top ten .